Crazy Trains Never Stop

Hello to all those who are in the Northwest! Hello to those of you who are in Utah or have recently migrated from Utah for the season! Also hello to those of you who are from other parts of the United States of America. Did I get everyone? I think so. Hello to everyone else.

The crazy just never seems to stop. Elder H says it the best. "This transfer is just crazy." The week itself was a nice one and a fun one, but it's been nuts.

After my previous email, we had FHE at the P's. They're a very nice family that live over towards Hazelhurzt. Where is Hazelhurzt? I don't know. I just know we were headed that way. We were given a ride by the W's. They are a very nice and very funny older couple. They are both quite the jokesters. Sister W brought pies to FHE and we asked why. Brother W responded, "she had to bring something sweet besides me." It was quite funny. We had a great time and talked with the members there.

Tuesday was a pretty mellow day. Except I was attacked. On the street. Let me 'splain.

It began one simple morning as we were riding our bikes to go see a less active member over on the other side of town. We were only a few minutes away from our trailer when I accidentally ran over broken glass on my bike because I wasn't looking. I stopped my bike to check for leaks. I set my bike down on it's side and picked out a few small pieces of glass in my tire. Luckily, the tire had not popped as the glass had not made it through the tire. After I had finished getting all the bits, I picked up my bike and began to ride. After a few moments, I realized that my handle bars looked strange. I slammed on my brakes and jumped off my bike. I realized that I had set my handlebar down on an ant hill. My bike was literally covered in ants. I brushed off a few ants that had clambered aboard me and luckily I was bit only a few times. I gingerly walked the bike back to the trailer, trying not to touch it. The hose was picked up and I waited patiently as the hose built up water pressure until it was enough to shoot forth out of the nozzle. The ants seem not to notice nor care towards their impending destruction. I think they were thinking "Man this is a nice bike. Let's take it." In reality it was more like "WHERE I? HARD! WHY? NOT EDIBLE!" and other ant-y thoughts like that. The hose shoot forth in a blaze of water. The water pressure washed the ants away, never to be seen again.

That's pretty much the whole story. Wednesday was a similar to Tuesday. Not in the number of ants I fought but what I did. We've been working with a Miss D and she's a very nice lady.

Thursday was the crazy day. We woke up at 4:30, showered, and dressed ourselves. We wore suits as we needed to look our best. We jumped in the car and made the 30 minute trip to Douglas. We waited in Douglas for a while until Elder F and Elder F were ready to go. We went in the van and made the three hour trip to Tallahassee, Florida. We arrived and went to the Stake Center. I really needed to go to the bathroom but, being the 5th tallest in the mission, I was called to stand in the back for the mission picture. We stood there for a solid 20-30 minutes while they tweaked and piled on more people. Finally I left and went to the bathroom anyway. I came back and they were still tweaking. I won't tell you of the great joy and happiness that restroom break brought me but I assure you it was great. After 10 or 15 more minutes, we started taking pictures. After 6 to 7 minutes of just flashing picture after picture, everyone stumbled off the bleachers and into the chapel. We opened the meeting and President Jensen talked for a little bit. Then we had an amazing lunch provided for us by some people. It was great. The turkey and rolls were amazing. I still like Mom's stuffing much more. Stuffing down here is weird. I don't know how to describe it. It's almost like bread...paste. We had a great time and enjoyed some wonderful entertainment by other Elders. We heard trumpets and flutes, pianos and lovely voices, as well as a Harry Potter themed skit. All good fun. We watched 17 Miracles for our movie. It was good and I really liked it. I do wish we had gotten to see Elf but 17 Miracles was really good. It was just an awesome meeting. We listened to more music and an interesting song called "Where's the line to see Jesus?". It was quite thought provoking. We had some great talks and some testimonies from three Elders who are leaving before the next mission conference. It was an amazing meeting. After Elder H and I helped clean up, we piled back in the van and began the long journey back to Alma. We stopped by Steak n' Shake and I got a shake. It was good - mint oreo I think. We also stopped by Taco Bell (zone leaders idea, not mine). I just got a hard taco and it was good. We made it to Douglas around 11. Elder H and I still had to drive to Alma but we decided that it would be better and safer to sleep in Douglas. Needless to say, I am never sleeping in Douglas again if I can. Tile floors are nice but they are cold and very hard. I had a blanket which allowed me to survive. I didn't sleep much that night. Right as the alarm went off on Friday we were up. Elder H and I wanted out! We left around 6:35. We drove back to Alma and showered and cleaned ourselves up. Elder H was really feeling quite poor and I was still a little sick from sleeping on the floor. As we finished our first appointment, he was looking and feeling quite ill. We talked to President Jensen and he advised us to take a sick day. So we did.

I hated it.
 
The whole day was awful. If I can, I'll never take a sick day again on my mission. I read many pages of Jesus the Christ to point where my head was full! I drank plenty of fluids and things like that. But I sat in a chair and didn't do anything all day. It's kind of hard to explain why I hated it so much.

Luckily the sick day was soon over and we were back to work.

Saturday was a fun day of teaching, pine cone throwing, pine cone baseball, and L. We went to Sister W's to talk with her and found her picking up pine cones with a grabber. Pine cones are very poky and sharp down here. They will stab you and it hurts. Don't touch them. I did and it stung for the whole day. She had one of those grabber things that you pull the handle and the claw closes. It was cool. So we picked up pine cones and I started throwing them in the bucket with the claws as the bucket became farther away. I only made a few in the bucket but I was always pretty close. I would come back after a dozen or so pine cones and throw the ones that had missed (all of them) in. I threw one in and I heard a WHACK! and saw my pine cone land and roll right back to me. I look and standing over the bucket was my companion, baseball bat in hat and with a grin on his face. He was clearly challenging my pitching skills. I stepped up to the plate. In most pitching situations, you have the use of your hands and can actually hold the ball. This ball would hurt you if you touch it. Evil, evil ball. So I had to throw with the grabbers. That made my aim as well as power very.... not effective. He hit a few but they were mostly balls on my part. He had just a few strikes by the time we were out of pine cones. We talked with Sister W and had a good time. We went and saw a few other people. One person we've been trying to contact for a while just wouldn't answer the door. He did wave at us through the window though. He's an elderly gentlemen who lives alone so he usually likes for us to come over. Elder H was still feeling a little sick so we went home early that day and did companion study (we had done weekly planning instead and forgot to reschedule companion study).

Sunday was fun! Church was good and we had lunch afterwards at Sister W's. I wish I had taken pictures but she had the nicest silverware and dishware I've ever seen. Oh. Another thing. Here in the south, they have nice dishes. I think it's an England thing from back in the day. They were gold and everything. We had a great time in her trailer and had a great meal. A few other members of the branch came and they were very funny. Brother D and Brother L were funny. Sister W and her Massa (I'll explain later) prepared an amazing ham. It tasted kind of similar to Local Boyz but had more of a ham-y sort of sweet flavor. It was good! One of the guests there was eyeing the ham before we had started eating and Sister W looks over and saw the wandering eyes and said "touch the ham and die." Sister W is just a big jokester and it was really funny. We all laughed about that one. A week or two ago, Sister W was called as the missionary meal coordinator. We have had more dinner appointments in the last week than in the first two or three weeks of my time here in Alma. It's been pretty incredible.

Picture time!

Auntie sent me some little growing creatures. The first two pictures were of that process. The last picture is very dark. But it is of a bunny. It was just so close and we saw it. It held still for like a minute! It was awesome!

Bye and I love you all!

Critters from Auntie

Critters from Auntie Expanding

A Bunny Rabbit?

Handwritten Letter #2 From the Field

Someday I need to figure out how to transfer Matthew's doodles from his handwritten letters to the blog but it's not today.

Family!

How's it going? Thank you for the various updates and letters which I have received. I've enjoyed them.

Today is once again p-day. I sit in a grayish-green recliner and write to you mine thoughts before I clean my sink and floor.

I started to read Jesus the Christ by Talmage as I mentioned in my email. I'm about 20 or 25 pages in. He's quite the writer. It takes a while to really get what he's saying but he says some cool stuff. It's a little under 800 pages so I have a ways to go.

I bought a little Christmas tree today. It was $20! And it's plastic. It's nice though. I have a picture. I sent y'all my SD card. Someday I'll have to explain what they're all about :-). There may or may not be a few moving pictures on there but don't worry, I asked President Jensen :-).

Anyway, things are good. I guess they're kinda same old, same old. I'm really trying to take it one day at a time.

It's kinda funny really. We've had a big outpouring of food these past two weeks. Our freezer is literally full of meat. I don't know what to do with that much meat. I've got to figure out something though, and fast. I've already thrown out some meat from October (the expiration date was late October). It was sad - two pounds of cow. Poof. Gone. I didn't like it.

It's cold down here. Like chill to your bones kind of cold. It's killed most bugs though which is nice. We do have a bottle of permethrin for brown recluse spiders. They're very poisonous and wander in from time to time. The permethrin kills them in like two seconds. It's cool but scary. How it kills, no idea but it kills.

I miss recycling. Alas, very few if any people down here recycle. Milk jugs? Throw them out. Pop cans? Toss 'em. It breaks my heart.

Love you all!

Elder Carlson!

Corn Flakes Save Lives

I don't understand the title of this letter but that's what Matthew put in as the title. I'll update this post if I find out what it means.

Hey y'all! I'm sorry that I did not send a real letter last week or even finish all of last week. Last week was crazy. But I'll try and cover what I missed last week and cover the highlights of this week as well as explain what all the pictures I have attached are about.

Let's talk last week.

When I last sent a letter, I ended somewhere around Friday or Saturday. The remainder of the week was busy. We spent quite a bit of time talking with Miss D. She's a nice lady who's quite interested. We've been working with her a lot this week. There was a branch Christmas service party for those in the disabled community which we helped out at. Part of being a missionary means no dancing which was a large struggle for Elders C and H. They were held down by members of the branch so it was all good. We received, as gifts, wonderful Santa hats. Elder H received the "Naughty" one, Elder C was graced with the "Nice" one, and I had the "No peeking" hat.

We had church on Sunday and enjoyed the meetings there. It was a Fast and Testimony meeting which means everyone gets the chance to share their beliefs and how they came to know the church was true. It's really quite powerful. The branch was so small that people just stand up and talk; no microphone needed. We went to the First Presidency Christmas Devotional with Miss D and that was quite interesting. We are now working towards a baptismal date of January 15 but we'll see if she can be ready by then.

Preparation day (Monday) rolled around and the three of us (Elder C, Elder H, and myself) did our usual p-day things. We went shopping, cleaned for a few minutes, emailed, and then goofed off for the rest of the day until 6. We did not get nearly as much done as I would have liked but we had a great time. Elder C is quite the goofball and we had some fun times. We went to FHE and had a good time with the members there. After that, we came home and I had to plan for transfers the next day. Usually Elder C and I work together to plan but this time he gave all the responsibility to me.

For some reason, Elder B (our district leader as seen in picture #1) decided that he would come to Alma instead of how it usually works. Usually the rookie missionary (me) goes to the leader's area and works with them there but he decided to stress me out and make me do everything for a day. Planning was very hard and I did get frustrated. I managed to plan a good day though. We left for district meeting around 9a and, after the meeting was over, I said goodbye to Elder C and wished Elder H good luck. I left with Elder B and we headed back to Alma. We visited several people and had some fun. After the work was over for the day we came back and Elder B took a nap. I made spaghetti which was very good. Elder B took a bath in my bathtub and I read "Our Search for Happiness" which I very much enjoy (it was only about 100 pages and I finished it. I'm starting on "Jesus the Christ" by James. E Talmage. Man can that guy write!). You have to understand that our trailer here in Alma is the only bathtub in the whole mission. It just so happens that Elder B loves bathtubs, particularly our bathtub. I have yet to try it but I may some day when I have the time. Elder B is quite a nice guy. He's been on his mission for 18 months.

Other highlights of the week include a parade. It was held around 6:30p. It gets dark around 5p here. They also threw more candy than any parade I've ever seen. People walked away with grocery bags full of candy. I found several pieces of candy at my feet since they had bounced and landed there. It was quite funny to see the kids running around on the sides of the street bumping into each other as they felt around for the candy on the ground as their parents tried to persuade them to get off the street as the next wave of the parade was coming. I only picked up a small portion of the candy that landed near me but I still walked away with many a tootsie roll dancing in my pocket. There were only about 5 or 6 real floats. All the rest were trucks and vintage cars. The trucks came from the large number of truckers in this town as well as the fire department. They had all their engines and ambulances really spiced up. The vintage cars came from "the graduating class of '57". The local high school marching band played with their almost tron-ish costumes on. They were very glowy and flashy.

The other big thing was the Christmas party at the W's. The W's house is one of the coolest houses I've ever seen. For starters, it's big. It's not the size though, but the stuff inside. The style is kind of like if you mixed our neighbor's house and our house together and threw in a few quarts of south. Highlights of the house include a room with a projector and movie theater seating with complimentary popcorn machine, a spacious master bathroom with a double wide shower, and a man cave. It was full of guns (they were set up quite high were people of smaller stature could not reach them) and various slain beasts. There were about 4 or 5 deer, a few hogs, and a few other animals. All the walls were cool old wood and it had a very southern man feel to it. We had a great time at the party socializing and drinking egg nog. Or rather, just nog as there were no eggs in it. We played Dirty Santa (it's what they call white elephant down here) which was hilarious. One lady had a blanket she did not want to give up and someone else made a big deal out of it. They looked at it and felt it and the whole time she was just "No No No No!". It was funny. The other person didn't steal it though.

Another funny bit is when we went to the J's. They had recently set out the presents under the tree and their daughter (a five year old girl) was shaking them all and asking which one were her's (they were labeled by number as she can read quite well). Finally after several times of telling her to stop or Santa would come and take the presents back, Mr. J sang his daughter a wonderful rendition of a popular Christmas song. It was called "Santa Claus is coming to take it away". It was a funny little song and after he finished she sat down and didn't touch her presents.

To explain the other pictures:

Picture #2 of the burned out biscuit is simple. I put it in the microwave and accidentally set the timer for 2:30 instead of 0:23. I had to leave to take the garbage out and when we got back inside my biscuit had burned itself to a crisp inside. The outside was hard but looked just fine. It was the hardest once edible thing I have ever seen.

The picture of me on the tractor (picture #3) is quite interesting. While with Elder B we visited the L's. They showed us their tractor. Here in the south they have this thing called "tractor pull". They take tractors, modify them, and drag very heavy things. He pulled it out and showed us some of the nicities. It was a 18 horsepower motor originally but he had fixed it to be past 25 horses. I'll explain how in a few sentences. Other nicities included a wheely bar, racing fuel with nitrous additives, weights, and a large air intake. It was funny really. He rode it around, did some wheelies and it was blowing fireballs out of the exhaust pipes. Dad, you would have loved it.

The last picture (picture #4), me with the hat, is because of L. He's a fun dude.

I'm out of time. Until next week,

Elder Matthew Carlson

Picture #1

Picture #2

Picture #3

Picture #4

Missionary vs Wild

Matthew sent pictures!!! He looks so grown up and very manly especially in picture #3 below.

Howdy y'all!

I'm doing quite well here in Alma, GA. It's actually been quite cold here in the mornings. It says it's around 50's but it feels like 20's since the humidity is so high. The cold just grabs you and you're cold. Nevertheless, I digress. Remember that battle with the cockroach? Well, after he died, several of his brethren came to avenge his death. They were quickly dispatched (squished) as well. They're gross and ugly with a capital UGH, but they don't freak me out like spiders do. When they're really big, they're scary because they're just so big. But I'm sort of used to them.

This week has been a crazy one. Every day I understand the saying here between missionaries that "The days are like weeks and the weeks are like days." It's really weird. It feels like an eternity but it also feels like it was just yesterday I was leaving the MTC. Like I said, weird. The craziness of this week really started on Tuesday. We went to Sister W's house and chopped down some trees - man style. With an axe and just thwacking at it (see pictures 2 and 3). It wore me out, bit it was cool to make a very large burn pile. Sister W likes to burn things. We pulled down vines and, in one case, I climbed up a vine to pull it down but no such luck. The vine hurt my hands and the tree was too strong. I need to do more push-ups. One thing we worked on this week was exercising in the morning. We're asked to do 30 minutes of exercise every morning. Not so bad you say? It's really hard to make yourself go running when it's 30 degrees and 6:30 in the morning. Once it gets warmer, I'll be fine and we ride our bikes everywhere (see picture 1). Speaking of fitness, I've actually been doing quite well. I've lost 3-5 pounds since I left for the MTC. Not amazing, but I'm not getting super fat though in some areas that does pose a problem. Some areas you can gain 20-30 pounds easily if you're not careful. Anyway, back to what I was talking about.

Wednesday was quite interesting as well since we were so tired from chopping down the trees. In my journal there are faces at the top of each entry that describe how I felt that day. Wednesday's had a nice face, fast asleep. It was Elder H's birthday so I woke up and made crepes for breakfast. I had secured the necessary provisions on Monday so it was fantastic and he enjoyed it. I learned that back home, his dad made him crepes for breakfast on his birthday. We were given food by the B's, who are a nice part-member family. We've talked to the grandma who's the non-member and she loves us but she doesn't want to change. The one problem with sharing our message is people have to be willing to try it to see the benefits it brings. The food she brought was great and the creamed corn was like corny gold. Best corn I have ever eaten (aside from mom's). We set up tables and chairs for a service project that the branch is hosting but more about that later.

Thursday is where the crazies start to pick up. We plan every day and make back-up plans and everything but sometimes even the best laid plans tend to go awry. Our District Leaders called and told us that the President was coming for a training meeting in Douglas today. We put all our plans on hold and made the necessary preparations to travel to Douglas. It's a one hour trip by car so we got Dairy Queen for lunch. By President I mean not the President of the United states but President Jensen, who oversees the Florida Tallahassee mission. He's awesome. We had a great training meeting and I learned some really neat stuff. We had interviews with President Jensen and I had a good chat with him. He had some really cool advice and just really cares about us as missionaries and the people in Florida. That's one of the reasons I like him so much. But he's just awesome. Elder H talked with President Jensen and he told me some of the things they talked about on the way back to Alma. One of the things he brought up was that President Jensen mentioned that he's really proud to have me. He thinks I'll be a great missionary. I know many of you have expressed this to me but I think time will tell. I think I can be great. The other thing that he talked about was Elder C. He would be coming to stay with us for a little while. We would form what is known to missionaries as a triple force. Three missionaries, all companions, all the time. It grants us some pretty cool powers but we'll talk about that later.

I'll start off by describing Elder C. Think of Kung Fu Panda. Now think of Po, the Panda, and imagine him. Now think of him as a missionary. You basically have Elder C. He's a bigger guy, but he's fast. He a total goof-ball, much more than me, but he can also be quite serious when he wants to be. Basically when there's work to do. When we're not doing anything the goofiness resumes. He's fun though. We've declared ourselves as the Triforce as we are a force for good in the world. The three different sections of the Triforce are wisdom, power, and courage. Elder C is courage. He's bold. He has no problem with going up to people and just asking them questions and extending invitations to come to church. Elder H is power. He's a powerhouse missionary. He really brings the spirit and has a powerful testimony of the truth of the Gospel. I'm wisdom. I guess because I'm smart? In the MTC, everyone thought I was a scriptorian. The five classes at BYU, the four years of seminary, and just reading the scriptures regularly helped immensely. I like sharing what I know though. Elder C didn't arrive until Friday though. We had a lesson with a new investigator, C. It went well and we answered a lot of his questions. The questions we didn't cover, like "Where are we going when we die?" and "Why am I here?" we saved for next time. Elder H has this awesome little puzzle that explains the Plan of Happiness. We made smoothies with strawberries and milk. We were too poor for ice cream so we used the whipped cream from the crepes. It didn't taste all that great, it was good (see picture 4).

This week has been fun and I'm working hard. It's been hard but I've had fun.

I've really been learning about how much I really have and the knowledge I have been given the opportunity to obtain. Every day I talk to people who are taking classes so they can get into the GED classes. There are so many people who are desperately trying to get their GED but can't because of work, money, or poor choices. People living in dark trailers covered in rust because they can't afford to pay for electricity this month. Take the opportunity to learn and to go to school.

I've seen so many broken hearts and broken families. I almost can't bear to visit them. You can just see the hurt in their eyes. I've seen first hand the absolutely destroying effects drugs can have on families. It will literally tear them apart piece by piece. I've seen the destroying effect drugs can have on people. They will take away absolutely everything you have and give nothing but a temporary confusion for a few hours. Do not go near them. Do not even touch them.

I've also seen the fantastic power that the Gospel of Jesus Christ can have on families. I've seen families come together and make new bonds. I've seen families come closer together as they come closer to Heavenly Father. The second you step into their home, you can tell if they are following His Gospel. This is the message that I work my butt off for everyday; it helps people. It works miracles.

Taking it one day at a time,

Elder Matthew Carlson

Picture #1

Picture #2

Picture #3 - Super Matt

Picture #4

Week #1 in the Mission Field

We just received the following hand written letter from Matthew today. It covers his first week in the mission field just like the email we received earlier in the week.

Hola Mi Familia!

I'm in Georgia. Alma to be exact. It's a little itty bitty town on the northeast corner of the mission. It has 6 stoplights, 2,000 people, and lots of drugs. It's been interesting.

I went to the airport and called you guys [he called home the day he left the MTC].  It was an early morning and it was raining. We piled in a bus and set off to the Salt Lake City Airport. I called you then got on the plane. It was a smooth flight and it was a big plane. The second part was a much smaller plane. Consequently, it was awful. It was bumpy and I didn't get to sleep at all. The Elder next to me was unfazed and fell right asleep. He kept sleep kicking me the whole flight.

We arrived and loaded into a big van as we met President Jensen and Sister Jensen. They're really nice. We were quite cramped in the van. It was a 12 person van and there were 15 people.

We made it to the mission home alright. It's quite beautiful. It reminded me a bit of our house inside. I have pictures of the outside. President Jensen talked to us and gave us some info/pictures. We had a dinner of sourdough sandwiches, chips, and a nice drink. It was delicious after so many weeks of MTC. Something simple and light. The MTC wasn't bad, it was just fun to have something that wasn't mass produced. We time to talk to our family and tell them where we were headed and our address. Then we all sat as President Jensen spoke. I sat criss-crossed-apple-sauce-indian-style on the floor. He told us how the mission was and how it was going. He told us important info and mission rules. One thing I'm excited about is we are allowed music! Maybe for Christmas you can send me an iPod with some Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Inside Out, Chad Woolner, missionary music essentials, etc. I will need some speakers though. No headphones para mi. Anyway, we got granola bars and were sent to bed. I slept okay but was quite cold. The AC fan was right above me and was blowing on me. I got quite cold. I only had a sheet on my air mattress. I found some towels and used them to survive. The next morning we had blueberry pancakes and hash-browns. It was delicious - especially the pancakes. I don't usually like pancakes but these were good. Maybe Sister Jensen is magical?

Anyway, we packed up and since I was headed east, I had to wait. I said goodbye the the remnant of my district and hopped into the car with Elder T since Elder L told me to (Elder L is an assistant to the president). We tried to visit some people who sent us away but we were able to see just one person. Anyway, we tracted for several hours and saw some really cool houses. This one house was an original 1830's era house. It was beautiful. It had, what looked like, mahogany flooring, brick and stone walls, ivy, and a red velvet carpet on the stairs. We had only a few people who were rude to us. Most people told us that they were happy in their respective denominations. A few people thanked us for the hard work we did. That made me feel a little better but I was still a little sad after tracting. We came back to the mission home and loaded up our stuff. Elder F and I drove the big van with our bikes on the back. We stopped at a place called Firehouse Subs. They had this cool machine that dispensed drinks. It had a touch screen and you select different flavors and brands as well as additives. If you wanted vanilla Sprite, you could get it (Don't get it, regular Sprite is much better. It was fun to try though). We got sandwiches and mine was really, really big. I couldn't eat it. It was greasy, cheesy, and kept squirting it's juices out on my hands. I ate about 72% of it. Not bad I'd say. It was good though. We finished up and we headed off to Valdosta. We grabbed Elder Y and Elder M, who had hung out there for the day. We then drove to Douglas. We crashed there for the night. It was packed. There were 10 Elders in a 2 bedroom apartment. I slept on the couch which was quite lucky of me. Most guys slept on the carpet. My companion slept on linoleum. I offered him the couch but he just wouldn't take it. He took NyQuil, talked for a while about things. Most of the stuff he said was kind of random so I think it was the NyQuil talking. After 10-20 minutes, he shut down and I slept on my love seat.

We awoke the next morning and, in our pajamas, loaded the car and set off into the sunrise (we drove northeast I think - we drove towards the sun). We arrived in Alma and put my bags inside. We showered, got dressed, and took off on our bikes. We only get 700 miles a month here in Alma. We have district meeting tomorrow which takes 41 miles and we were at 659. So we had just enough miles. I saw some interesting people that first day. Sister W, the L's, L, and Brother D. I'll tell you a bit about each one though. Sister W is interesting. I'll tell you more about her later.

The L's are a nice family that were recently reactivated. They want to get sealed as a family which is a big goal for them and we're going to help them make that goal. Sister L works as an accountant. Jobs are really hard to get in Alma. Brother L fixes/customizes old cars for fun. He told us all about a truck he's working on. Those are the big things here in the South. Trucks and chihuahuas. The truck he was working on was a cool red one that had blown it's engine due to a clogged radiator hose.

L is really big. Not as tall as me but much bigger. He's a less-active member. He gets a lot of his information from televangelists so we try to teach him correct doctrine. He's a really nice guy who really tries hard to be a good member of the Church.

Brother D is awesome. He's a tall and skinny. He's very quiet but it's fun talking to him. He was baptized two years ago by some missionaries after they had been talking to him for a few months. He's a very, very strong member of the Church. He has his baptismal certificate on display as the centerpiece on his mantle. He's an amazing guy and we visited him a couple of times this week since he doesn't have a whole lot of visitors.

We've been working hard and riding [bikes] is of the ways. My legs were pretty sore for those first five days. I haven't grown butt calluses but they're coming. My bike's been pretty solid. The brakes got a little unadjusted from the bike ride over here but we fixed the rubbing and it's fine. You'll have pictures soon enough. I'll send the SD Card next P-Day.

I used my other two good stories in my email but I still got one more. We went over to Sister W's. She was raking massive amounts of leaves and burning them. We helped out. I raked and Elder H tended the fire. Sister W scooped up the piles I made in her wheelbarrow. We cleaned up about 50 or 60 wheelbarrows of leaves. We had quite the fire. Then Sister W got tired of scooping. She was going to set all of the remaining piles on fire. We told her, "No, you need to do it in this fire pit over here." She promised she would watch it and even got a chair and sat in front of the pile. We told her that she might set her grass on fire. She said she didn't have enough grass to catch on fire. We told her it might set the tree above it on fire. She assured us it would be fine. We somehow convinced her to not set everything on fire. She put away her matches and grumbled, "You guys are no fun." We scooped up more leaves and dumped them on the fire. Sister W made a 'hmmm' noise and disappeared. We poked the fire to open up some air holes. Sister W appeared with a gasoline can. I started to say, "Wait, I don't think that's a good idea." and got to "don't" when she started spraying. I have to admit if was kinda cool but then she just threw the whole thing on the fire. My companion backed up and we looked at each other. There was a small bang and a fireball. It was quite awesome actually. We collected the tools and wheelbarrows and brought them back to her trailer. She looked at the wheelbarrow and said, "That's getting to be an old wheelbarrow." She then threw it on the fire. It was pretty funny.

That's pretty much been my week so far. It's pretty rainy right now. We're headed to FHE in not that long.

Here comes the good part. Question and Answer.

Q: Cockroaches?
A: Yes. Moving on...

Q: Car, bike, or both?
A: Both

Q: How much do I love and miss you guys?
A: Loads [picture of dump truck and cement mixer full of love]

Thank you so much for all your letters. I really appreciate them.

Big loves,
Elder Matthew Carlson

First Letter from the Mission Field

We just received this from Matthew today. It's the first letter he has sent us since he arrived in the mission field. What a wonderful man our little guy has turned into.

Hey y'all!

I think I said that right. I'm working on my "y'all"s and my "all y'all"s. I don't understand "all y'all"s. Y'all is you plus all, right? So "all y'all" means "all you all"? That doesn't make sense. But welcome to the South.

Sorry there will be no pictures this week. I didn't bring my usb cable to the library today. I forgot. :(

But I'm stationed in a tiny little town called Alma. It the home to about 2000 people and reminds me a lot of Philomath, but not as nice. They're some really interesting people here. REALLY interesting people. There's also some very nice people as well as some mean people. Luckily the nice people are more numerous than the mean people. I still haven't had a shotgun in my face, but we came close this one time. That was kinda scary. More about that some other time.

Here's the answer to the question I know you're all dying to ask: Have I seen a cockroach?

The answer: Have I seen a cockroach? Have I seen a cockroach? Let me tell you, I have done more than just see a cockroach, I have battled one in mortal combat. His eyes were menacing and dark. My hair was slick with sweat and my armor was coated in dirt from the day's work. The cockroach charged towards me and I dodged it with a quick sidestep. While the cockroach roared past me, I countered with a blinding attack of light. The cockroach was momentarily dazed by the flash of light. Sensing an opportunity, I charged with my sword raised towards the dazed cockroach. Seeing my advances, the cockroach pulled itself out of it's stupor and began to stampede towards me. As we came closer and closer, the cockroach accelerated to ramming speed so I made a quick plan. Seconds away from the imminent collision, I jumped and cleared the cockroach with my long legs. I rolled over the cockroach's armor plated back and landed heavily on the ground. I stood up quickly, brushed some dirt off, and surveyed the damages. My armored tie had mostly protected me from the cockroach's barbed feelers and powerful ways of grossness but I was still hurt by the ugliness of the cockroach in particular. My tie and my collar stays, while Teflon coated, just could not withstand that sort of firepower. The cockroach rattled like a train going around a corner. It stopped and looked at me as it if was confused. "Why are not squished?" it seemed to say.  I raised my sword over my head and yelled my battle cry in retaliation to the cockroach; "THIS. IS. MICRO FIBER!!!" I ran towards the cockroach, sword at the ready. The cockroach, still taken aback by my sure audacity, did not register my advance and was slow to respond. I charged and swung my sword and smote the cockroach down. Then I picked it up with tongs and flushed it down the toilet. I then bowed and claimed my title to be forever known as "Elder Carlson, Cockroach Slayer".

So yeah. I've seen a cockroach. Two actually. I only killed the one though. With a water bottle. It was about the size of my fingernail. The other one I saw was about the size of my palm and I thought about stepping on it, but then my shoe would get really gross. Plus it was HUGE. And it freaked me out.

Alma is an interesting place. It has very few people but has many fast food restaurants. We have DQ, McDonalds, KFC, Pizza hut, Harvey's (it's known as Carl's Jr. back in Oregon), and others. It's kinda funny.

My companion is Elder H. He's a fun guy. He's from Idaho and he's been on a mission for about 10 months. Sometimes I start talking about a movie and he puts his hands in his ears and goes LALALALALALALA. I forget that he hasn't seen some of the more recent ones. On our down time during dinner we like to talk about movies, funny bits, and songs. Luckily for me and for him he likes to sing as well. I think I may have drove Elder P nuts in the MTC. Elder H is pretty silly but he's a good missionary. It's rough sometimes because we can't be out and about on bikes after dark here in Alma. It turns out it's one of the drug capitals of Georgia. We can go out if we have appointments in the car but we only get 700 miles a month. A little under 200 of those miles are used going to the weekly district meeting. Some of our investigators live 16 miles away and that's a little hard to do on bikes since we have to take a highway with no shoulder. It's almost the new month though so we can use our car again. We used it today actually.

The branch is small and we don't have many dinner appointments, or really any, so we've been mostly feeding ourselves. My companion and I are headed to the grocery store after our emails are sent to pick up groceries. I'm excited to get things other than boxed mac and cheese. Skim milk is also something I'm looking forward to. And lettuce. And apples. And fruit. And vitamins. You know, stuff.

Here's one funny story. We went and visited an older gentlemen who is a less active member. For those of you don't know what a less active member is, it means that it's a member of the church who doesn't come to church anymore. We visit them all the time to see how they're doing, help them out if we can, and help them come back to church. Most of the inactive members here have no desire to come back or just can't come for one reason or another that we can't do anything about, so we visit them to just see how they're doing. This was an older gentlemen in a nice house in town. He has two chihuahuas, Radar and Roxy. Roxy is a very mean little dog who doesn't like anybody. Luckily I didn't get bit, which Elder H warned me might happen. Radar is a very.... excited dog. Imagine Scooter but faster, smaller, lickier, and not as smart. He jumps over everything and will claw and squirm his way into your lap and on your head and under your arm. He's very persistent and he never stops moving. He was quite determined to lick every part of my body he could get to. He got my ears quite well. Sitting down on the couch was a mistake. I knew that before I sat down. He was eyeballing me and watching were I was going to sit down. I sat down and he jumped up onto my lap. I pushed him to the other couch cushion and he jumped up on the headrest and ran back and forth between the sides of my head alternating between licking in the left ear and the right ear. I didn't like it but he was fast and whenever I got close to getting him he would run to the other ear. He is called Radar because he has huge ears on the top of his head that just stick up and look like radar dishes. I gave in and petted his belly which he enjoyed for about a second and then began licking my arm. Then he ran and sat on Elder H's lap. Then more licking, then he chased Roxy and growled, then he tried to jump on my head. We were only there for a few minutes and he must of gone several miles in running and jumping. The man we saw was quite nice and we visited with him. He's been working on remodeling his house and he showed us all the changes that he had made. We talked about his extensive lighthouse collection as well as his eagle collection. Interesting guy.

I love you all and miss you. But I believe that what I can share can really help people. It's really helped my life as well as numerous others. I'm a representative of Jesus Christ, doing what He would do if He was in Alma, GA. This message blesses people and helps them understand who they are, who God is, why they're here, and where they are going. More importantly, this message is the way back to our Heavenly Father.

There is a God. I can promise you that. He's our Heavenly Father. I know He's there and He cares for me, and cares for you. He has a Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is my Savior and my Redeemer. He has done for me and for you such an unspeakable act of kindness that we can never repay Him. I know that this is His church restored on the earth today. He leads it and He guides it. We have a prophet today, just like in the Bible and the Book of Mormon, who's name is Thomas S. Monson. The Book of Mormon is another witness of Jesus Christ. It is scripture from God. Every word and every verse is revelation for our day and our age. There is no way a farm boy with a third grade education could have written it. It is a witness that Jesus was, and still is, our Savior. Read it. It is the best book on Earth today. That's why I'm here. To share with people a message, to help them, and to show them the Book of Mormon and invite them to read it. Please read it. Just give it a try. I can promise you that if you read it and pray, you can find out for yourself if it's true.

See you in 23 months.

We also received this picture of Matthew with President and Sister Jensen:

First Letter from the MTC

We just received the following letter from Matthew. We call it the "deer in the headlights" letter since he'd only been in the MTC for a few hours at that point.

Hola Familia!

I just finished my first day at the MTC. It was hard. I was directed into a room in which I sat all alone for about 5 minutes. Then people showed up and I was talking and having a good time. I ran into a guy from Detroit and we talked about hockey on the street and the Red Wings. Then the MTC coordinator got up to the stand and everyone got quiet. I expected a welcome to the MTC speech or even just him saying "Welcome to the MTC". He just explained a few things to the hosts and then said "Go". It was about 30 seconds of talking. Then I found my host and got my luggage and went to a little waiting area. Then I was sent back to the large room with chairs. I was confused but then I was ushered down a hallway in which I was given a name tag and had a very bad photo was taken. The camera was very low to the ground and I was very high off the ground. It didn't look very good. I was then taken to a classroom in which I waited more. I think I was kinda early to everything. In retrospect, putting me in a room with nothing to do was a bad idea. I may have gone into a mini panic attack. There wasn't any freaking out or running or crying (unlike some missionaries) but I got very quiet and very still while I worked through it. I had class and a mini devotional. I may have nodded off three fourths of the way through that. I was very tired. I had dinner which was mashed potatoes, carrots, chocolate milk, and a nice piece of grizzle. It had some meat on it but it was tough to get to. I had more classroom time and went to bed. I sort of slept but it was kinda unfruitful. Today has been better. I feel like my companion and I are less awkward. It still is bit less so. He's a very quiet guy. He's also going to Tallahassee. About half of the guys in my district are. One of the biggest disappointments was this morning when my alarm went off. It made sort of a buzzing or beeping noise. I guess I just expected it to ring with those bells on top. Alas, it was not so! Woe is me and all that.

My companion is Elder P. I was kinda wondering if that was our French exchange student. The I realized I was mixing his hero Jimmy Page and him together. He's a nice guy. He's from Bountiful Utah. For those of you that don't know or don't remember that layout of Utah, it's about an hour north. I'll talk more about it next letter. I haven't taken any pictures yet but I should. Anyway,

Love,
Matthew